only if we run a train.
done.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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