hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
