I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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