I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
