so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize