if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
