good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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