I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize