he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
my shit smells like andre
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
