and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
