Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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