The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
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