I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
