Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
