I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
