Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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