they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
