If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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