I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
