I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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