Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize