bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
