sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Randomize
