new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
