its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Houston, we have a squirter
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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