I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
