haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Boobs speak an international language.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
