we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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