the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
