On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize