i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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