My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
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