So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
