so let's talk penis.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
