This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
