Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
It's Friday. Sex?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
