Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
