Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Randomize
