just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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