I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
