So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
