lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
