youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize