dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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