Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
