Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize