Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
