We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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