That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
