We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
