I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
