as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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