Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
People in love make me want to vomit
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
