Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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