Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I have aggressive nipples.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
