Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
