You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize