I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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