i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Come see our sink grown plant.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
